


the way i know you

by callumsvoid



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, 2012, Dan's Book, Fluff, M/M, Over the Years, jamacia, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26493346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsvoid/pseuds/callumsvoid
Summary: Dan has always been a man of words.“I know,”He does.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	the way i know you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoodiestrings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoodiestrings/gifts).



> a companion fic to 'the way you know me' by morelikeexisting so go read that too!!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481154

Dan has always been a man of words. 

\- 

It’s 2009 and Dan steps off the train. It doesn’t take him long to recognise Phil amongst the crowds of people and is greeted with open arms. They hold onto each other like their life depends on it, Dan whispering how happy he is into Phil’s ear. They don’t break apart until an angry businessman shoves them inside. 

Dan rolls his eyes and mutters a series of curse words under his breath towards the man. 

“Holy shit”, Phil exclaims, he still has one arm around Dan as if the world would end if he let go. The other is pressed against his cheek, knuckles tapping, making a rhythm. Phil repeats his previous statement and Dan looks at him with soft eyes. 

“I can’t believe I’m finally here.” Dan starts. “I’ve waited for this for so long... it doesn’t feel real.” 

Phil looks away with a blush and a smile on his face. 

\- 

Autumn arrives and disappears just as fast. They both end up going to a big YouTube gathering and despite Dan’s lack of uploads, people still recognised him. He was so grateful for that. It warmed his heart a little. He took photos with the fans and he would listen to them attentively before hugging them tightly. 

“I’m so proud of you. Please keep going, you are so loved and important.” He would tell them. 

Halfway through, he felt the warmth and security of Phil’s arm snaking its way around his waist. It was familiar and grounding to him. He would place his hand over Phil’s and squeeze a little. They move away from the crowd. Dan notices the held back look on Phil’s face. Just like he did on the Manchester Wheel a few weeks ago. Dan knows he wants to say something but he also knows he isn’t a man of words. So Dan breaks the silence. 

“I’m hungry.” Dan simply says.

His stomach grumbles with that remark. Dan’s about to ask Phil where they should go to eat but Phil tightens his hold on Dan. Dan hears his name and turns to question Phil.

Phil pulls him in and simply kisses him. 

\- 

Dan says a lot within the few months. All the way until they’re lying in the December’s blanket of frost, side by side. The dirty green abandoned hospital looms over them, intimidating and dark. 

“The stars look so far away from where they are.” Dan quips, still staring upwards. “Like... they’re always there but yet so far away.” 

Phil runs a finger on the snow as he listens to Dan rambling on about the weird wonders of the world. He turns to smile at Dan and murmurs his name into the cold air. 

Dan smiles, and that alone was almost enough to bring back July. 

\- 

They make love in Jamaica. Phil holds his hand and doesn’t let go. Not till the morning. And for once Dan didn’t need any words.

He had poured all of his love out and Dan remembers to cherish that moment for the rest of his life. 

\- 

2012 was a bad year. They’re both scared and alone. Dan and Phil, Phil and Dan. Both too scared and stubborn to talk. They move in circles, taking turns to get mad at each other, ranting about each other to their friends. Dan didn’t miss the looks of concern on their friend's paces, but for once, Dan had not enough words to speak. 

One night, Dan falls asleep on the couch in their lounge, headphones still on his head and laptop opened in front of him threatening to wake him with its flashing glow from whatever it was he was watching in his attempt to drown out the heavy sound of his thoughts. 

But it’s not the laptop which wakes him. It’s the soft hand which runs through his hair. It’s the cautious and gentle hands which move his headphones away and closes his laptop, moving it onto the small table besides the couch. It’s the delicate press of lips upon his forehead and the tender feeling of a blanket being placed around him. 

Suddenly, he bursts into tears. He feels confused and embarrassed. 

“Phil... I-” Dan tries to say but can’t control the sobs releasing from his body. Phil holds him tightly and kisses the tears away. 

And in the depths of the night, Dan unloaded his thoughts and feelings and Phil just listened, placing words when he felt necessary. 

Dan felt safe. 

\- 

Dan felt overwhelmed by the giddiness of the room, the erupting screams along with the anticipation and excitement. He felt giddy along them. 

“Of all the people they could have made us made us present this award with, it just had to be Nick didn’t it?” Dan jokes, stepping closer towards Phil. “This is just great for my self-esteem.” 

Then suddenly Nick Jonas is hugging him and Dan is just flabbergasted and lost for words. Any other jokes dry in the back of his throat and suddenly it’s all over with Phil saying something about fanfictions. But all he can think about is: I hugged Nick Jonas, I hugged Nick Jonas. 

Phil grabs his hand once they move backstage and Dan smiles at him, Phil smiles back, a little strained.

Dan doesn’t push him to talk. 

\- 

“Hello!” she cries, brown curls hanging loosely around her face. She reminds him of himself, when he was younger. “Hello, you have helped me so much, thank you - thank you so much,” 

Phil looks choked up and can barely even stutter a few words out. In turns, they hug her tightly. Dan hugs her especially tight. 

“You are so brave. We are so proud of you.” He means it. 

When the meet and greet ends, Dan finds himself still thinking about the young girl. 

Just by looking at him, Phil can tell. Phil is like that. He sees the things other people don’t. He picks away Dan’s thoughts. 

Dan finds himself overthinking; They are here, Brighton, and there are hundreds of people out there waiting for them. It’s their show. It’s - 

Suddenly, he’s being pulled tightly to Phil’s chest. His warm around his waist, palm at the back of his head. The sound of his heartbeat calms Dan a little, his thoughts begin to rationalise and empty until there’s only one thought in his head. 

He closes his eyes and thinks, dimply: he hugs me differently. 

\- 

Dan is frantically pacing around the room. 

“The tweet is up...” he breathes out. 

He’s waited for this moment for years, a time where he could use his influence for the better, to help people who are just like was. Was. He takes notice of the streets outside. They’re empty. Good, he thinks. We’re in the middle of a pandemic. He continues to pace, tapping rapidly at his phone in angst. He’s mumbling about how supportive they are. He’s grateful. 

Phil grabs him swiftly by the arm, telling him to put his phone down and to stop stressing. Dan wants to argue back, he wants to read all the replies he’s receiving and he wants to send his thanks to as many people as he can. 

Phil smiles. His eyes crinkle in the way they do when he is proud and ridiculously, ridiculously happy. “They’ll be okay without you for a few moments,” he is prying away his phone “Dominoes?” 

“Please.” 

“I’m proud of you, you know,” he calls out, “And I love you. You have come so far and you are so passionate about this book.” 

Dan looks down at his hand, and thinks about the time Phil read the final copy for the first time, the way he kissed his forehead, his cheek, and gathered him up tight in his arms. He thinks about the way he woke up almost every day for the last two years and planned and wrote. He thinks about the nerves he felt before he began writing and the way they vanished when the words started flowing out him as if they were always meant to be on paper, open for the world to see and use. He knew he would make a difference with his book. He thinks about his past self. Young and alone and scared. He thinks about what he’d tell him if he had the chance.

He smiles.

Dan has always been a man of words. 

“I know,”

He does.

**Author's Note:**

> can you believe i failed gcse english?   
> thanks for reading <3


End file.
